The One

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land
called America, having lost their morals, their initiative, and their
will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that
person known as "The One".

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He
hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you. My lack of
experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association
with evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope
and Change.

Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who preceded me
is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must
be destroyed." And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not
what "The One" would do, he had promised that it was good; and they
believed.

And "The One" said "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help
me change everything about it!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!
Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the people
said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And the people
said, "Show us the money!" And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth
is good for everybody"

And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my
money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and
taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was
banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having
zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical
terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk
with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget
that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people said,
"Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free
cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And one,
lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." So "The One"
said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!" And
the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your
homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed.
And He said, "I shall mandate employer- funded health care for EVERY
worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person
unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the clinics."
And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas." And
the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity
rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is
evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher
electric rates." So "The One"
said, "Not to worry. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses,
we shall bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are
over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's grant
them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free
medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..." And the
people said, "Hallelujah!!"
And they made him King!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-h
igher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply
gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock
dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing
slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of
support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "The One" - The Messiah - and I'm here to
save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!"
But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Wait a minute. Your
dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..."
And the people said, "Wait a minute. That is unfair!!" And the world
said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo,
you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall
play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea
verily, it was too late. And the once mighty nation was no more; and
the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And
the Change "The One" had given them was as like unto a poison that had
destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had
built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish,
"Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too
late, and their homeland was no more.