A stranger was seated next to a little girl on an
airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,
'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger..'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about
nuclear power?' and he smiles.
'OK,' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic,
but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow,
and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a
deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies,
'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,a good find for many retirees,
I lasted less than a day......
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,
I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice.
Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.